Happy New Year!! I missed it here… Oh and I am a whole proud Mama now too 🙂
The last time I published a blog was a few months before giving birth to my daughter. Then I published my devotional shortly after giving birth to then ghosting writing. I could name numerous reasons as to why I did not publicly display my writing, but nah I’m going to take accountability, it was me. I truly did not feel like my words, my experiences, my story was worthy of being told anymore. I allowed lies to blur my craft and my gift, so I had to get off social media for a while to get back to my core, my roots… to get clear with God on my identity now as a mom, writer, career woman, owner and much more. What type of content would I be putting out now? Like I’m not writing from a broken or hurt place anymore, so now what? Yes, I’m still a Christian writer, but truthfully, I can’t write from the perspective of a single black woman in her 30’s without including motherhood, hair, love, adulting, or the battlefield of the mind. I could be messy and write about things that serve no purpose beside good tea for those nosey folks, but I choose life. I choose freedom from my past, knowing that I have been forgiven by God and I can walk with my head up straight.
My writing could be understood by those who are free in Christ (when I say free I mean you are in a serious relationship with God and he is showing you how to freely live out your life), those who choose to live unapologetically in their light, for the bomb mother balancing a full-time demanding job and making time to ask her child(ren) about their day while being present for her lover/friends/family. My writing is for the creative who is not certain if they are good enough to publish or questioning who will read their content, the hopeless romantic believing they have another shot at love but scared as heck to try again and of course for my legacy, so that my daughter, her children, and their children would know greatness lies within them. Okk sooo let’s get it…
Soooo, I want to preach and teach the Gospel (haha I know right straight out the gate, I came swinging)… for some it’s not surprising but for others, they’re like, “Wait. Hold up. Whoooo you?”…. YESSSSSS, ME!!! It is probably the most liberating and scariest things I have said but needed to admit to myself. I have had an idea about this call on my life since I was 23ish but truthfully could not see it. After A LOT of screw ups, I thought I ran away from it. Pretty much I figured I disqualified myself out of my purpose.  PLOT TWIST: God uses each single mistake, and all of you to contribute to the purpose he’s called you for. He already knew you would mess up and yet he still chose you for the role. So, I was actually running into the arms of God not away from him, haha he got me good!
Getting still and quiet over the past months, God and I journeyed together to get my home in order, meaning me. I closed on my actual home, and then God prompted me to shut things down online so I can spend that time with him. I could/cannot inherit my next in life at the level I was still thinking and responding. It’s like trying to use a 2008 update on a 2021 iPhone, it’s not compatible, and if it works, you would be missing out on the optimal user experience of the newest features on the phone. Unfortunately, many people are still applying previous season strategy in new battleground, it may have worked then but that does not mean it will gain you victory now. Before my life could go further, God was not having it with me trying to bring old attitudes/reactions into this new season.
Every minute counts of your life, every dollar counts, how and with who you spend your time counts. Had I not become (I’m still in training) more intentional surrendering these areas to God, then applying what he is teaching me, I would have gone backwards. God would not be able to trust me to reveal his desires unto me if I were not in an obedient posture to receive it. This journey has been uniquely designed for me, I fought my way here, but I also rested too. God allowed me to rest in the mist of chaos, like how I’m at war and the enemy in nearing in on me and I am sleeping peacefully? God did that. I guess the Lord knew all along how this all would pan out huh… well stay tuned because the story isn’t finished!
