“I am giving myself the grace to start over right now.”
“I am giving myself the grace to start over right now.”
“I am giving myself the grace to start over right now.”
Breathe —- Just Breathe —
I started writing this blog in January, then deleted everything I wrote in April to start over. It amazes me the growth I have made but really the the ongoing changes in the world, these past few months. I came into this year, with every intention of allowing God to meet me in every area of my life, and I refuse to change that despite the pandemic. There are things within me, that I am absolutely not taking with me into the next season, and other things I want to become stronger in. Above all, nothing is more important to who I am purposed to be, than the relationship I share with Elizabeth. Not manager, degree earned, teacher, leader, writer, friend, daughter, sister, and all other roles/soon to be roles of Elizabeth. The relationship with myself is key in the success/failure of pretty much every area of my life, because if I love me, there are just absolutely some things I will not do/partake/or even entertain (of course there are things that may happen out of my control). The reality is, I am just now understanding how to develop a true/drama free relationship with myself (because God refused to give up on me). I am still arriving everyday, there have been some bumps but I am learning to maintain it as I continue to evolve into the woman God has called me to be. The (re)PRESENTATION of me happens everyday when God grants me the opportunity to get up and LIVE ON PURPOSE. Whether, others see growth or do not, they comment, they talk, they judge, I am still obligated to show up everyday for myself. My hope is that you do the same for yourself.
TRUTH IS…
It is not easy to show up for yourself, when you feel your are due or need to prove something. You can continue to point fingers, keep arguing your point, feel that you are absolutely in the right, defend yourself, remain stagnant in pain AND YET NO GROWTH IS HAPPENING WITHIN YOU! With two hands raised, I have been there.
BUT NOT THIS TIME…
This time, this day, this week, this month, this year… you are MOVING FORWARD FOR YOURSELF (PERIOD).
They key to it, LET IT GO.
YES… they wronged you, they played you, they lied, they manipulated you, they hurt you, they stole from you…they…they…they.
YES… you can let it go, to receive all that GOD HAS IN MIND FOR YOUR LIFE. Not wishing wrong, not continuing to play scenarios over in your head, and legit walking in forgiveness.
And making the decision to start over, to change, to evolve, to rid your life of some things/people to become a better version of you. Do not sit around waiting for an apology, do not beg to be heard, let God have it. You have things to accomplish, more life to live and the better version of yourself to meet.
Next, DEAL WITH YOUR REALITY
The most important time to rebuild a healthier and intentional relationship with yourself is now. The way you speak about yourself, the way you see yourself, the way you feel about yourself and the way you treat yourself. It is easy to think you can do it alone BUT you need God’s help in the process, so he can help you to heal some things within you. There are wounds you have been walking around with, that have caused you to bleed out.
Look at the habits you have formed over the years, the person you have become when no one is watching. Are you proud of yourself all around? Have some experiences caused you to change who you once were? Where are you right now with yourself?
These questions and more are important to help you truly look within yourself and answer. Looking back on things can be uncomfortable, hurtful, and for some traumatic … therefore I would recommend, journaling, talking to someone you trust, seeking wise counsel, therapy and absolutely INCLUDING GOD throughout this whole process. Praying for guidance and understanding on how to deal with the person you have become and where to go from here. Most importantly how to forgive yourself and let your past decisions go.
Then, DREAM AGAIN
I sat with a friend once and she said to me, do not forget to tap into your inner child. Play some boards games, watch some cartoons, just laugh again. For different reason, whether childhood trauma or current trauma, many of us have not been able to get back to this place of innocence. A place where you see yourself pure. As a child, imperfections did not matter, bruises did not stop you from wanting to play outside and have fun. Well, starting over requires you to begin to see yourself (not necessarily as a child) but as a person who is free. Remembering the things you once loved about yourself, you once loved doing, even dreaming again. Imagine yourself flourishing and what does it look like to you. Imagine yourself at peace, where everything is working in your favor.
No but seriously, take a moment for this … what does the (re)PRESENTED version of yourself look like to you?
This is not about anyone else, but you.
But do not forget, BE NICE TO YOURSELF
Change will not happen over night, but remain dedicated. Take as much time as you need to work on becoming the person you love. God has so much more for you, despite everything that you have faced and gone through. Make room for the very things you have been believing and asking for. Make room for the (re)PRESENTATION of you!
Repeat after me,
“I am giving myself the grace to start over right now.”
“I am giving myself the grace to start over right now.”
“I am giving myself the grace to start over right now.”
